Improvements after 1st draft

Basic Storyline:

• Meet up with friends
• Watch a film
• Characters disappear
• End of film

Improvements

Points to consider:

There is no twist in the storyline. If we have a twist, what could it be? If there is no twist, how can we make the film end interesting?

Should all the characters die? If yes, how can we make the film end interesting without them all just dying? If no, why do they not all die? What happens?

We need to see that the characters have actually died instead of just implying it. Do they all die in the same way e.g by knife? How can we make the deaths more interesting?

What else can we put in the film? As it seems it all happens very fast, there isn't much of a build up.

Some of the shots are too dark which makes it hard to see what is happening in some shots and lowers the quality of the film, how could we improve the lighting however keeping it relatively dark to make it suitable for a horror film? Could the characters carry torches with them?

When Ashley comes out of the shop a man bumps into her and drops a necklace. She picks the necklace up and walks off. The man who walked into her is the person who kills them later on. The necklace she picks up has no significance in the rest of the film, also the ending to our film isn't great. An idea could be that the man drops the necklace and each time someone finds it, it is them who is the next victim. Because Ashley picks the necklace up it is her and her friends who get murdered. Instead of just ending the film after everyone gets murdered, by using this idea we could then show the murderer picking up the necklace and doing the same again to another set of victims. This would give the film more of an ending, the necklace would have more meaning to it as it symbolises the deaths and it would continue as a cycle instead of the characters dying and the film ending straight after the last one has died.